Revised Introduction

I was really happy with my original introduction until we discussed it in class. While it's never fun having people tear apart your work, I did find the feedback that I got helpful. My rewritten introduction addresses the prompt better than the first, even if I am sad to see parts of it go. The reworked conclusion is still somewhat rough, and will need some more work before it is ready for the final draft.

Original Introduction: 

Spanking has always been used as a way for parents to punish their children for misbehaving. Recently, however, the morality and effectiveness of this form of discipline has come into question amongst parents, teachers, and psychologists. In a recent case, Adrian Peterson, a football player for the Minnesota Vikings, was arrested for hitting his four year old son with a tree branch. Jessica Samakow, a writer for the parenting section of the Huffington Post, was inspired by this case to write an article voicing her opposition to spanking.  Most of the people reading Samakow’s article are parents who likely feel strongly about the issue on one side or the other. In having an audience that is aware of her topic, Samakow, in her article titled “What Science Says About Using Physical Force to Punish A Child,” is able to go right into her reasoning and analysis without having to provide a substantial amount of background. As a result, she is able to more freely explore all of the intricacies of the controversy while providing her audience with proper evidence to support her stance and beliefs.

Revised/Reworked Introduction:

Being able to analyze rhetoric is essential to being an exemplary student as well as an informed reader, consumer, and voter.  Writers use any number of strategies to form their arguments; some are more effective than others. In response the case in which Adrian Peterson, a Minnesota Vikings football player, hit his four year old son with a tree branch, Jessica Samakow wrote an article that is an excellent example of rhetoric. In "What Science Says About Using Physical Force to Punish A Child," Samakow employs strategies such as the use of statistics and expert opinions to solicit concern and empathy from her readers. The use of these specific strategies allows her to explore all of the intricacies of the spanking controversy while providing her audience with proper evidence to support her stance and beliefs.